"I don't even know what his face looks like. All I can see are his huge boobs."
"I think I am confusing 'opa!' with 'mazeltov?'"
California Bay Area Bachelorette / Wedding Week
*This trip will be portrayed only with slideshows and quotes.
"Owen found a penis in the freezer."
"I don't do anxiety pills. That's what whiskey is for."
"If I sober up, you hoes are done for."
"That story should have the headline 'Wife stabs husband, police confirm it was justified.'"
"I made the straw into a dick."
All Around Oregon and Washington
"She was wrong. Your job is to push people around, not run people around."